Since I moved to Canada four years ago, I have gone through phases of trying to do more writing, trying to do more photography, trying to do more video editing, trying to make a short film. I’ve started all these things but not finished.
I’ve also dealt with my father’s death, my grandmother’s death and the (thankfully unrealized) possibility of having cancer – all of which made me think about achieving something in life, having some sort of career. So for the past year or so, I focused on doing my absolute best at work and trying to get promoted.
But a couple of months ago, when some jobs were finally posted, it became clear none of them were really a promotion. Sure they were full-time jobs, but none of them were what I really wanted. Much introspection ensued. What was I doing with my life?
This all came to a head on a trip to Bowen Island, where I spent a day in the sunshine discussing what I really wanted with my partner and two of my best friends on their deck (henceforth known as “the deck of perspective”.)
For the first time in ages, I remembered there are a lot things I’ve always wanted to achieve in my life, but have let fall by the wayside – and this sense of a dead end could be an opportunity to make those things happen.
I resolved not to apply for jobs I didn’t really want, hoping someone would eventually have faith in me in one small area of my life. Instead I would have faith in myself and pursue my own projects and ideas – with the support of my friends and partner, who amazingly pledged to support me in my quest.
Decision made, a huge sense of relief washed over me and off we went for five weeks, travelling round Europe on a trip (officially for a friend’s wedding, but ultimately for a much-needed holiday) that coincidentally turned out to be perfectly timed. I returned to Vancouver refreshed, enthusiastic and ready to embark on a different kind of adventure.
So here I am. Working reduced hours and spending my free days following those dreams. If nothing else, I owe it to my partner and my friends to come good on their offer of support and show them I can do this.
As you may have guessed, one of my goals is to write more, and write more openly. In the alleged words of a Syrup Trap satire writer quoted in their first ever print edition, “Instead of constantly trying to anticipate what the reader will like, why don’t we just write honestly, and from the heart…?”
He was later allegedly thrown off a cliff. But still.
More of my aims in 101 things in 1,001 Days.
I want your feedback. Any thoughts, reaction, advice… Let me know in the comments below!